It’s ironic that as we get older, the youngest among us often have the most to teach us about life.
No wonder Jesus spoke so highly and fervently about welcoming children and becoming like children as the condition for entering the kingdom.
Children have an innate curiosity. Its insatiability can drive adults bonkers when that curiosity is combined with the power to say one simple word: Why?
Why do I have to go to bed? Why is the sky blue? Why did you get so mad? Why did God make us?
As the years pile on, our child-like curiosity eventually gives way to a sense of confidence. We’ve learned a thing or two. At some point, we begin to have more answers than questions. That assurance feels good and empowering. But there’s a real downside: diminished curiosity can keep us from deepening our understanding of things. At worst, we become entrenched in ways of thinking that are patently false and which keep us captive to unhealthy, destructive patterns.
That’s just the way I am.
That person’s always such a jerk.
I can’t help it.
They can’t help it.
What if there’s a way to break that cycle of thinking and make progress? Turns out, we can take our cue from the little ones in the world and get curious again.
Curiosity is one of the most powerful and effective tools at our disposal for growth, both in the therapy room and outside of it. Curiosity opens up new possibilities. new learning, and new solution to familiar problems.
This is harder said than done, of course, because our reflex is to get defensive or buttress our preexisting beliefs with rationalizations. Instinctively we get mad or hide in shame. But getting curious opens up a door for the grace of God to enter and disrupt predictable scripts.
How might this look?
I just totally lost my cool. Instead of beating myself up for it, I get curious and ask myself, what was the trigger behind that outburst?
I completely shut down in that work meeting. I could barely speak. Instead of overcompensating in the next meeting, I get curious and try to pay attention to what I was feeling and going through my mind.
My spouse just snapped at me. Instead of getting reactive, I take a deep breath and ponder, I wonder if there’s something else at play. I needn’t excuse bad behavior, but if I can engage with my spouse from a place of curiosity, I’ll convey a radically different kind of energy. .
In our moments of quiet and prayer, curiosity beckons us to sit at Jesus’ feet and ask, “Lord, is there something you want me to know? I’m listening. I’m paying attention.”
In this month’s featured article, Heather Dutcher recounts an honest experience which reminded her and reminds us to get curious. When something in our lives feels icky, we needn’t run or hide. We can say, “ew….what’s that all about?”
John Lin, Partnerships Director
Photo by Jeremiah Lawrence. I wonder what that little girl is looking at…
