Dianna's Couples Case Study
Jan and Greg came into counseling as many couples do with trouble communicating and fighting. They felt distant from each other and did not want to continue to live in their unhappy marriage. In the first sessions they were asked to talk about how they met, how things have changed over the years and what their relationship is like now. In listening to them tell their stories Dianna looked for past hurts that have not been resolved or healed, for current unhealthy patterns of communication and conflict and general regard towards each other.
Counseling provided them a safe place to talk through and resolve past hurts. In doing this, the past was no longer fueling their current issues. They also became aware of the pattern in which they fought and was given better ways to have conflict. Conflict that results in deeper connection rather than damage to the relationship. This is important because every couple will have conflict, it is unavoidable, but we can learn to do it so that we learn more about each other and become closer and better connected.
Dianna taught them some communication skills that they continue to use. We are not all very comfortable or even aware of how daily interaction with our spouse makes us think or feel. When we learn to become aware of those thoughts and feelings and are able to communicate them to our partner, then we can communicate on a deeper level and create understanding and connection. Jan and Greg, through counseling, learned a lot about their relationship and how to do it differently. Their marriage was not the same as it was before but better than it ever had been. They also learned much about themselves and in what ways they wanted to change in order to continue to grow as individuals.